Meet Earlie Johnson.  Earlie's having a rough day.  He has spent YEARS amassing a huge, vintage porn collection that he says is worth $7,500.  Unfortunately, he got home a few days ago to find his back door kicked in and his porno stolen.  

According to Johnson, as well as "a guy in Connecticut", his collection was "the best in Michigan".  We're still trying to get that confirmed.  At least he has the support of his loving fiance to get him through these tough times!