I am ridiculous when I am in my car. Ninety five percent of the time I am the lead singer in whatever band or artist that I am playing way too loud in the vehicle. The other five percent of the time I text message people. I get so detached while driving that in my mind's eye I really am on stage.
The latest fantasy has me going to my high school class reunion. The f'd up fantasy has to have a back story. During the previous 21 years I'd been touring the country with my band, Twisted Brown Trucker. My classmates know me more by my other name, Kid Rock. I roll up to the reunion in some bad-ass car with tons of adoring fans screaming my name. The parties already started as chicks who used to kick my ass are now throwing their underwear at me. I bust through the crowd. The band's already started vamping the beginning of "Rock and Roll Pain Train" as I mosey on through. I finally make it to the stage and everybody loses their mind as I snarl, "Fifteen years on this lonely road...." Then I park the car in the garage.
I'm telling you, my mind I broken. I've heard this type of detachment is not healthy. I believe it...but I can't stop.
I've got all sorts of fantasies like this. Wait till you hear about when I punched a hooker who jumped on stage when I was the lead singer of Molly Hatchett.